1Hard END

I guess I'll Start with the Most Recent "Hard End". Her Name is Alysa Nicole Daniel AKA "Ally". I dont know what it is/was about here but I Still havent let her go. I met her over a Dating Site while I was in Okinawa. At that time I had been in the US Marine Corps for about 3yrs. I had just lost another woman due to combat, which I'll talk about in another Blog, & it was hard for me to get over her. But, with Alysa, It took 1pic of her for me to Fall DEEPLY IN-LOVE with Her. We started talking & writting & She expressed how she felt about me so far. Well, I was the 1st to mention that I Loved Her. She asked what I said & I blew it off like it wasnt important. Well, We started talking about a Family & A Future together. She Said how she couldnt be married to a man who was going to be gone for several months, if not longer, at a time. So I agreed that with the way I feel for her I will Exit the Marine Corps so we could Start a Family. My Original EAS was Oct.15,2006. It was extended to the 31st that way I could take some Leave. So, I had gotten everything settled & went back to My Mothers Place. I told my Mother how I was going some where to be with a Wonderful Woman. She didnt like it but she knew she wasnt going to stop me. I Called Alysa several times before to let her know I would be with her Shortly. She wantd me to stay with her but not for long because she was going to College, at TT in Lubbock, Tx. So, I pack just a few things, for afew nights, & called her & told her I would be up there shortly. I Would call her every couple of hours to let her know I was doing somthing else & would start heading up there when I was done. It was a Lie because I was trying to surprise her like I did my mother. Well, I would always have some excuse for driving but not heading up there. She was getting Fusstrated, I could tell. I had finally gotten up there, with a lil help from some guy who worked at a Convient Store. I asked if he knew where this location was. He said that he gets off in just 5mins & could show me. I waited the 5mins & we were on our way over there. After I told him the Reason I needed to know the location, He told me good luck & Went on his way. I called Alysa & Told her that I was just now Leaving & would be there in like 6hrs. She was Mad & Told me to Drive Carefully. I told her I'll be there as soon as I can & we hung up. I started walking to her Place When I saw This GORGEOUS Woman walking towards me. She walked outside to smoke a Cig & I knew Right-a-way it was her. She just Stared at me as I passed her. I was trying to get past her so I could Surprise her later. But She said "could it be?" So I turned around & Said "IT IS". She was So happy; As she jumped on me & Started kissing me I asked what she thought about me. We laughted & she took me to her place. We were Madly In Love with eachother right from the strat. I was the Happiest Man Alive. As she asked about the stuff I brought to stay over, I got out my Back Pack & She said "Thats It?", I said "Yeah, You didnt want me over for long, right?", She said, "Not Long ment less than a Month, not just a few days." I knew right then & there we were going to be a Perfect Match. The whole time together she would talk about being on "No Cheaters dot Com to let them know we found eachother". I was excited to have found this GREAT WOMAN. I never wanted anything more than I want(ed) Her. She had something that was Beyound PERFECT for me & I DIDNT want to let that go. I did everything I Could to be as Perfect for her as she was for me. 6Months or so go by & she started Changing. She was no longer the Woman I Fell in love with. Everything I did was Wrong & When I didnt do something, she expected me to so that was wrong. I had been living with her the intire time & had made NO FRIENDS, didnt have anyway of talking to my Family in S.A. & was All Alone until she got done with School & Work. Which didnt happen really ever. She was Always Out with "Friends" & Doing "Homework". There were a few times where she thought I thought that she was doing more than HW so she'd invite me to go with her. I couldnt figure it out. 1st she didnt want me around now she wants me to go? Why? I never said it out loud but.....I think it was because that was when she was Really doing HW & Didnt have someone else around. She didnt want to have sex anymore & was always Mad at me for wanting it. 1day I met this girl who wantd to be friends with me & Alysa didnt want me to have her as a Friend. I told her she never even met the girl, why wouldnt she be a Good Friend? Well it finally came down to a choice. She told me "You have to pick, either her or me" I said, "thats a STUPID Choice to make" She said, "Exactly" I said, "No, thats a STUPID Choice for you to give me, either the Woman I LOVE Or a Friend; What the hell type of Choice is that to make?" I got Mad, I Said "I Dont have any Friends, I've been up here with you for so long & have made no Friends" She said, "You have my friends" I said, "Exactly, Your FRIENDS, Not Mine. Your Friends are Great but I Need someone to talk to as well; You have your Family & I dont have Mine" She said, "If you want friends that bad We will go & Find some when we have a day off together". I told her that the Choice she is giveing me is not Good at All. She told me, "I thought I was Important" I said, "She's Important too" That was My Biggest Mistake; What I Ment to say was, Having a Friend Is Important to me too. Well, She Told me to get out of her life & I said we could work this out. I dont know what started the Fight but she Swong at me & I Let the 1st one hit, than she kept swinging. So I Dodged them & Tackled her to the Bed & Held her arms down & Told her to Stop Hitting Me. She said NO & She kept trying to move her arms to hit me. When she Started to get tired & Stopped moving her arms I let up & tried to talk to her. She Stood Up & Tried to Hit me again. She got in 1 or 2 hits until I got Mad & Tackled her to the Bed just a Little harder & said the same thing. She Tried to Head Butt me & busted her tooth on my head. I let her go again & Stood up. She Got Mad again & Tried to hit me again. This time I got Real Mad & Tackled her HARD to the Bed. She started Hiperventalating so I got off her & talked her down. Told her to try to breath normally, slow your breathing. I told her it was OK & We could get through this. She Told me, while still Hyperventalating, "GET OUT", "Get Out Of My Life!" So, A month, more or less, goes by & I start leaving her lil messages attacthed with a Rose. The 3rd one I was going to leave was going to be in Person. So, I went up to her work, just before they get out, & waited for her. I was Nervous & my heart was Pounding Hard. I walked up to her & she looked at me & pull out Pepper Spry. I told Her, "You know thats only going to Piss me off." She told her Friend to call the Cops. I told her. I only wanted to show you that I am that man you once knew. I'm no longer that Civillian I turnd into. She told me it was OVER & She Turnd in the Roses & Letters to the Cops. I was Befounded by what she was saying. I....I..., I Just couldnt figure out why she was acting this way. She was acting like I Shot her Cat with my Rifle. So, I guess I wont ever have her back. It has been 7months now & She is all I Think about. I have had other Women to try to get her out of my mind. But, the thing is, NONE Of Them Compare to the Woman I Fell InLove with. I Cant Stop thinking about her. If only I had let her take control of my life. I maynot be as happy but atleast I'd have her. I LOVE ALYSA NICOLE DANIEL-MARTINEZ; SHE IS THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS & NOW NIGHTMARES. Will someone help me forget her?